Healing Our Caregiving Hurts


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Caregiving hurts. People disappoint, situations cause pain, the declines break your heart. The hurt can break us into pieces and cause us to question whether we’ll never become whole again.

Our caregiving hurts include:

  • Our future because we lost the future we wanted. We now see a future we’re not sure we want to keep.
  • Our head because we experience situations that just make us wonder, “What was that about”? We just can’t get our head around what people do and say or what they don’t do and don’t say.
  • Our heart because we lose friendships and relationships with family members may suffer. We watch our caree suffer and endure pain we can’t stand. Our heart breaks for ourselves and for our caree.
  • Our hope hurts because we never hoped for this, which means we lose trust in any hope. Do we hope for an end to our caree’s suffering which means the end? That feels like a horrible hope. Do we wish for the end to caregiving which also means our caree’s end? That feels like a selfish hope.
  • Our spirit hurts because we can’t seem to get a break or to get ahead. We struggle to continue, all the while knowing we have no choice but to figure out how to continue.

You deserve to be whole which is why I’ve created the following exercise to help you heal. Let’s take a closer look at our hurts and what we can do to feel better.

Healing Your Future Hurts

Ask yourself: What part of your future do you feel you’ve sacrificed? What part of your future do you feel will be really difficult?

You can heal. Here’s why:

  • You have time for what you want in life. You have time now and you will have time tomorrow. You only lose time when you tell yourself there is no time. You have time.
  • You have possibilities because your possibilities don’t have an expiration date. Your possibilities change as you change, which is what’s so great about possibilities. Sometimes, our possibilities see so much more for us than we can. You are a possibility.
  • You have blessings waiting for you. Your future changed, which will change your blessings. The blessings don’t disappear; they simple evolve. And, they wait for you. When you are ready, your blessings will be there.

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